Is your relationship with a loved one in crisis?  Do you find yourselves fighting and unable to communicate well?  Do you feel that you’ve been betrayed and yet want your relationship to work?  Or have you decided to divorce but want to do it ‘well’?

Couples who come for couples therapy can hope to :

  • Understand the sources of conflict and disharmony
  • Learn ways of resolving those conflicts
  • Learn to speak openly and truthfully, and listen well, developing exceptional communication skills
  • Eliminate destructive means of communicating such as sarcasm and ‘baiting’; abandoning them for constructive alternatives
  • Develop skills  and techniques to manage difficult times and cultivate good times
  • Restore the life and joy in a ‘tired’ relationship
  • Negotiate what may seem insoluble differences
  • Gain a deeper understanding of your own and your partner’s needs
  • Take responsibility for your own part in a challenging situation and its resolution
  • Manage the arrival of children and the changes which that may bring
  • Understand the needs and particular pressures of blended families and develop strategies which bring cohesion and the respect of difference
  • Find a way forward after betrayal or breakdown, together or separately, which honours the need for the resolution of past difficulties and the restoration of a positive vision of the future

Many couples go through times of difficulty and stress where feelings can range between despair and fear, rage and frustration and where separation sometimes feels like the only option.  However relationship counselling offers an environment where many options can be carefully considered, new skills can be learned and positive and respectful ways forward found.

It may be time to consider relationship counselling if fruitful communication has broken down and arguments are escalating or if one or both people are simply, deeply unhappy.  Perhaps feelings of anxiety, depression or isolation are arising or of jealousy, betrayal and mistrust.  It may be that the family dynamic has broken down, perhaps with problems in communication between step-children or step-parents and step-children or perhaps a child is having great difficulties and parents can’t agree on how to deal with those difficulties.  For some couples, the loss of intimacy or of deepening sexual difficulties may be the deciding factor on choosing relationship counselling.

When couples come for relationship counselling, initial appointments are usually 1½ hours long and it is a time for both people to describe their experience of their situation.  Even in the earliest stages, we would look for what changes can be made, what skills learned, and how to deepen understanding so that an easing of the difficulties can be felt.  As time goes on, it can sometimes be helpful to have individual appointments alternating with appointments where both people are present.

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